The Ghost Theater

On my way home from work, I generally will get off the interstate several exits early and drive the rest of the way home on Geneva Road. I'm not entirely sure why—maybe it's because I like the lower traffic, the more scenic views, and the feel of driving through the less developed area.

The views to the west of Geneva are pretty sparse. Mostly, it's just open fields, with a few new developments cropping up every so often. I'd been driving the route for several months without anything really jumping out at me. Then, one day, I looked to the side, and I saw this:

Hazy vignettes added to give an "ethereal" feel. You're welcome.

Now, I hadn't seen any hint of this building's construction over the past several months. Not a sign. Not a building frame. Not a truck. Nothing. It just seemed to spring up overnight.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I got closer and saw this: 

Special thanks to Google Maps for these images. (I try not to take pictures while I drive!)

Seriously, you'd think I would have heard about a new MegaPlex going up just a couple miles from my house! It was eerie, though, because it seriously was just THERE one day.

The next day at work, I asked a coworker who lives close to me if he knew anything about it, but he was completely unaware, too. I was actually a little bit nervous as I drove home that evening, because if it wasn't there? I was planning a SERIOUS freak-out.

Fortunately, as I came up the road, it was still there, so not only was I NOT living just a few miles from a haunted stretch of road (to my knowledge...), but we got a brand new, fancy theater really close to me. Score!

Funny thing is, about a month later, my roommate had the exact same experience. He came into the house after work and said, "Hey, did you know about that new MegaPlex on Geneva? I drive up and down that road all the time, and today, it was just sort of there! How long has that been there!?"

How long indeed...?

"Yew tawk fuuuunny..."

I grew up in the South. The deeeeeeeeep South. Now, however, I live in Utah, and people are always surprised when I tell them where I'm from. "You don't have an accent!" they say.

I have a few reasons/excuses. First, when I was younger, I had a lisp. My first few years of elementary school, I went to speech therapy classes to correct it. I think that's a part of the reason.

The other reason is that I was raised by a mother who was the oldest daughter in a military family. As such, her family moved around quite a bit, and she never really developed any sort of accent. (My dad, however, has a strong accent. One of the only people who has a stronger accent that I know, in fact, is his mother, an amazing little Southern fireball of a woman. The long I vowel sound isn't even a part of her repertoire. "Hah!" or "He-low-oo" are her greetings of choice.)

Actually, here's a funny story. One time, years before I was born, my mom was helping out with one of my cousins from my dad's side of the family. He was about two or three years old, and as she was helping get him situated in the back seat of a car they were driving, he looked up at her with a confused look on his face and said, "Yew tawk fuuuuuhnny."

Heh. From the mouths of babes... Er, chillun.

Anyway, it's kind of funny, because I have no trace of accent (though I'll slip into a slight one if I get really excited or am talking to one of the more-prone-to-drawl members of my family), but I definitely subscribe to the Southern dialect.

A friend of mine (from the South, of course) filled out this little survey, and I thought it was fun. So, for your reading enjoyment...

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.
Creek

2. What is the thing you push around the grocery store is called.
Shopping cart. (I know many who call it a buggy, but I never picked up on that one.)

3. A metal container to carry a meal in.
Lunch box.

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.
A skillet or a fryin' pan.

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.
Couch

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.
Gutter

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.
Porch

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.
Coke. Doesn't matter the flavor. "Do you want a Coke?" "Sure." "What kind?" "Sprite."

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.
Pancakes

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.
A hoagie or a sub.

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.
Swimming suit

12. Shoes worn for sports.
Tennishoes. (One word.)

13. Putting a room in order.

Straightening up

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.
A lightning bug

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.
Roly poly

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.
See-saw

17. How do you eat your pizza?
From point to crust.

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
G'rage sale. Even if there's no garage involved.

19. What's the evening meal?
It depends. If the main meal of the day was at noon, then the evening meal is supper. If the main meal of the day is at night, then the evening meal is dinner. The main meal of the day is dinner, though.

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
Basement

21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
Water fountain

22. What do you call the thing with wheels that you put a baby/small child into to take them for walk?
Stroller, though I've always liked the term "pram." Very British. But it's not one that I've adopted.

D'oh!

So last night I went over to Dylan and Rachel's to watch Much Ado About Nothing (the Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh version) with Joni and another friend of Rachel's that I don't know. Please note that I have been rereading the Harry Potter books lately, and so I kind of have that series on the brain.

As we were watching near the beginning, Kenneth Branagh began a somewhat pompous monologue, and without thinking, I said, "You know... He would actually make a really good Lockhart!"



Needless to say, Joni enjoyed that immensely. Repeatedly. Over the course of the entire evening.

I told her that she could post it on mylifeisaverage.com, but then she had to drop it.

MLIA

License and Registration, Please!

Story time!

A few weeks ago, my parents were in Utah for a family reunion. When they left, my aunt drove them to the airport. After dropping them off, she was driving back to Provo when she saw the tell-tale red and blue flashing lights in her mirror (amusingly referred to as the "cherries and blueberries" by a friend of mine). She checked her speed, the speed limit, and her lane: 63 mph in a 65 zone, and she was in the right lane.

Odd.

Still, law-abiding citizen that she is, she pulled to the shoulder, and the police car pulled up behind her. The officer climbed out of his vehicle, walked up to her car, leaned over as she rolled the window down, and asked her, "Do you know you're doing 63 in a 65 zone?"

*blink* "Yes sir?"

"Ma'am," he responded, "this is a very busy highway. People go 80 down this interstate, and you're obstructing traffic."

Clearly this event did not take place in Provo.

My aunt, pleased at this revelation, smiled and said, "Oh! I can go 80?"

The officer looked at her incredulously and emphatically said, "No!"

Ah. Of course, officer. Thank you for clarifying.

At least she got off with a warning?